Mental Loopholes
Do you ever feel like you talk yourself out of a behavior that you really intended on doing? Or find yourself engaging in a behavior that you did not plan to do?
There is a reason for that!
Dr. Simon Marshall describes the brain’s very complex cycle that often talks you out of doing your intended behavior!
For example, you say “I’m going to the gym today.”
1. Your amygdala which drives impulses says, “no, you NEED to stay in bed and enjoy sleeping in.”
2. Your orbitofrontal cortex which tries to control impulses using moral judgment says “nope, you don’t NEED to sleep, you WANT to sleep in, but then again you deserve a reward for such a busy week.”
3. Your uncinate fasciculus which acts as a moral guide through guilt says, “well, I’m just going to miss one day at the gym, surely that won’t matter.”
4. Your dorsolateral pre-frontal cortex which works analytically by using facts and logic says, “but then my streak will be ruined and I will feel bad tomorrow. What will I say on my coaching call?”
5. Your ventromedial pre-frontal cortex which considers the feelings of others says, “I’m letting my coach down, he is going to be disappointed in me.”
6. Your cingulate cortex which helps with decision-making influenced by past experience says, “ok, I will miss today, but do a double workout tomorrow!”
THEN THE CYCLE REPEATS ITSELF!
PRO TIP: One technique that can help break this cycle is by occupying your brain with something else until you are into action (out of bed, one the way to the gym, etc) or safe from action (away from the candy, alcohol). You could count, sing, hum because your brain can’t (as easily) have this internal dialogue if you are trying to remember lyrics or count down or list the states.
Have you ever found yourself justifying behaviors that don’t match your goals with the following loopholes? If you find yourself saying any of these, you can create behavior changes to avoid these scenarios, possibly creating mini-actions or occupying your mind (as mentioned above) to out loop your mental loop holes.
Do any of these sound familiar? If so, how might you change your behavior so that you don’t self sabotage?
Moral Licensing - “I exercised this morning, so I’ll have a mocha frap for dessert”
False choice - “I’m so busy that I don’t have time to exercise.”
Lack of control - “I was planning to go to bed early, but my friend called.”
Arranging to fail - “I’ll check my email quickly before I meditate.”
This doesn’t count - “I’m on vacation, so I don’t have to follow my healthy diet.”
Questionable assumption - “I only have 5 minutes to meditate, so I might as well skip it since that’s not long enough to benefit me.
Concern for others - “It would be rude not to eat the dessert my mother-in-law made for me!”
Fake self-actualization - “I’m saving the world with my work - I don’t have time to sleep!”
One-coin - “I’ll just have a cookie this one time. It’s not going to make a difference”
If you find yourself saying these things and you impulsively engage in behaviors that don’t align with your long-term, remind yourself of what is important to you. What you want to accomplish?
Make decisions today on behalf of your future self!
Would you like support as you work through your mental loopholes? Consider hiring a health coach!